If you’ve been following the news about Cornell and all of the other reports of SA, I want to check in with you.
How are you doing, really?
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse, stories like these can bring up feelings you thought you’d already worked through. Maybe you’re angry, anxious, exhausted, numb, or finding yourself scrolling through every update.
Maybe you’re remembering what it felt like not to be believed. Or watching the conversations unfold and recognizing patterns from your own experience.
Even if the story isn’t yours, it can still affect you. And that doesn’t mean you’re going backward in your healing.
When you’ve experienced trauma, reminders of what happened can bring up protective responses before you’ve even had time to process what’s happening. You might feel anxious, tense, disconnected, or desperate to understand every detail.
Here are five things you can try when it all feels like too much.
5 Ways to Soothe Your Nervous System
1. Step away from the news.
You can care about survivors without reading every article or comment. Taking a break doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re allowed to care for yourself, too.
2. Ground yourself in the present.
Look around and name five things you can see. Feel your feet against the floor. Notice the room you’re in. You don’t have to force yourself to feel calm. Just gently reconnect with the present moment.
3. Move your body.
Stretch, take a walk, shake out your hands, tense and release your fists, or put on a song. Sometimes movement feels more supportive than sitting still and trying to meditate.
4. Stop judging your reaction.
You don’t have to be strong, positive, or completely healed. Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?” try asking, “What do I need right now?”
5. Remember that your life is still yours.
You’re allowed to care about what’s happening in the world and still enjoy your life. You’re allowed to laugh with your kids, create things, rest, and make plans for your future.
Healing isn’t just about learning to survive what happened to you. It’s also about creating room for a life that feels like yours.
And that’s something I want every survivor to know.
Want Help Coming Back to Yourself?
I created a free experience called Come Back to Yourself in One Week for survivors who are feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or exhausted from living in survival mode.
Over seven days, I’ll guide you through gentle, practical tools to help you regulate your nervous system, reconnect with your body, and begin creating a life beyond survival.
Here’s what we’ll explore:
Day 1 – You Are Not Broken: Understand survival mode without the shame.
Day 2 – How to Stop Spiraling: Create space when your thoughts won’t slow down.
Day 3 – Coming Back Into Your Body: Reconnect with yourself through grounding practices.
Day 4 – Notice Your Nervous System: Recognize signs of overwhelm before you reach your breaking point.
Day 5 – Create Safety Instead of Punishment: Practice rest without feeling like you have to earn it.
Day 6 – Create Boundaries, Voice and Self-Trust: Reconnect with your needs, boundaries, and body’s wisdom.
Day 7 – The Connection to Yourself Is Always Available: Explore what healing can make room for.
No pressure. No toxic positivity. Just gentle support for coming back to yourself.
Because survival mode isn’t who you are. And you don’t have to wait until you’re completely healed to start living.
I’m rooting for you. 🤍
PS If you need confidential support related to sexual assault, RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-656-HOPE (4673), or through RAINN’s online hotline.