Many of us live a life that we know is not making us happy, or allowing us to live our potential, simply because it is safe. It is comfortable to work a job that offers us a set income to take home to our families. It is comfortable to remain in the relationship that truly isn’t what we know we deserve, simply because it is longstanding and it is what we are used to. The opposite scares us.
Imagine quitting your job, or leaving your unhealthy relationship, and having to start over. The thought is most likely terrifying – as it once was to me.
Until I learned – that by placing trust in ourselves, and in the Universe, we can create the life of our dreams. But first, we have to give up the life we have, or the one that we believe we should have.
I have worked my entire life. I began babysitting in middle school, and worked two jobs in high school. I became pregnant and worked full time, while also bringing my newborn to my job. I did this for four years, all the while dreaming of being a photographer and having my own career. I allowed myself to remain stuck, and knew how much I disliked where I was, but I had no intention of making a change.
Until I was forced.
I have had a rare condition involving the veins in my leg since 2002. It has recently been diagnosed as a Peripheral Arteriovenous Malformation. My condition remained undiagnosed for almost fifteen years, and as a child, I underwent multiple experimental treatments – as I have learned others with the same condition have gone through as well. Because of these treatments, as soon as I was old enough, I put an end to it all – the doctor visits, weekend hospital trips, allergic reactions to medications and injections, and missing out on summer activities. I went ten years without any type of treatment.
In October of last year, my leg flared up. I couldn’t walk, or even stand for that matter. My leg was ice cold, and then burning hot, and I was forced to have emergency tests done. I began fainting and was hospitalized multiple times. I lost my licence, could not care for my son, and spent most of my days in bed with periods of complete bed rest. Clearly, I could no longer work.
Multiple times, I thought that my condition was clearing up, and I offered to return to work. Almost immediately, the symptoms would come back – and I began to see the signs that the Universe was sending me. This was my opportunity – a way out of the dead-end office job that gave no promise of a career. So I decided to take it. I told the Universe over and over again, that I would put all of my Faith into the unknown, and become a student, following the signs and information leading me towards my next steps.
Within two months, I had a business name. My logo followed, and then this website. I created everything on my own, simply asking for guidance when I needed it, and I was always answered. All of my bills have been paid, and I am able to have spending money, although I still find myself worrying. Things are not perfect, and they never will be, but I can see a bright future for myself. I am following my dreams, with a man who treats my son and I better than I could ever dream, and it is all because I held onto Faith.
Things fall apart, and often in big ways. But if we remind ourselves that we often do not see the full picture, and that bigger and better things are on their way, we will find that life becomes easier. Things continue to fall apart, but they then fall back together in new ways. People may leave, but they are always replaced. We will change, and we will suffer, but we will learn from that suffering. And because of this we will grow.