The spiritual path is not an easy one, and there is no final destination where one day you are simply happy all of the time. Enlightenment is not a place to be, but a journey. It is one where you continue to strip all of your layers, digging deep into the truth of who you are, and pulling out the mud. You must notice your pain, your harmful behaviors, and look at exactly who you are, without hiding anything from yourself. As stated by Louise Hay, it is only through seeing your “dirt”, that you can clean your house.
I have been on my own spiritual journey for almost five years now, only truly digging deep into my “stuff” since 2014. After years of opening up, hypnotherapy, looking at my own crap, and being truthful about the mistakes I’ve made along the way, I have opened the gateway to rewiring my brain and my body along with it. And since that moment a year ago, when the process fully began, it has been harder than ever.
I have days where I cry over nothing. I have no idea why I’m crying, but I know that I am releasing emotions stored deep in my cells. I have days where my body hurts all over, I am exhausted, I have headaches, and I twitch uncontrollably. I’ve even been hospitalized for these symptoms, doctors believing I was having seizures, or heart issues. We first believed that these symptoms were due to a blood condition that I have which began acting up, but this also, has proven to be a stepping stone for Shamanism. After much research, and being guided to many holistic healers and shamans to help me on my path, I have found the truth.
For the past year now, I have been undergoing a spiritual awakening. My brain is changing, I am coming into gifts that I pushed away when I was very young, and I am realizing the truth of my purpose on this Earth. I will go more into that, and the many symptoms of a spiritual awakening in another post. But, what I am trying to get out right now, to all of you looking for peace, is the truth that unless you experience all of your suffering, you will never find it.
We do not one day decide to be peaceful, and from that moment on everything is butterflies and rainbows. No – we one day decide that we want peace, and we must then strip away anything that brings the opposite. We change our thoughts, and change our behavior, but in order to do this we must know which behaviors and thoughts are causing our upset. And so, we experience them – fully. We look at ourselves with an honest eye, and understand that we are the cause of everything in our own lives.
People do not cause you upset, you cause it yourself by allowing them into your life, or allowing them to have that kind of influence over you. No one can influence you unless you allow them that power, including yourself. Once you can be truthful about your life, the past, your thoughts, and who you have become, you will notice a shift. Many people will fall away from your world, you will find time alone, but it will not last long. Periods of solitude are exactly what you will need in order to continue on your journey, and the Universe will bring you those who will match your new frequency – when you are ready.