I experience resistance A LOT. As in every day, multiple times a day. Most of the time I know exactly what I need to do in order to reach a higher frequency, or change my mood, but I’ll make excuses, or lay in bed bored wondering why I feel like crap instead.
This also shows up as not keeping promises I’ve made to myself. I won’t work out or do other activities I love to do like spending time in nature, or even just reading a book. I make excuses of why I lack the time, or tell myself I have other “priorities”.
But in truth, a part of me doesn’t want to feel good. I want to stay comfortable in these emotions that I’m so used to feeling. I’ve become addicted to them, so I stunt my own growth.
I know many others who do the same exact thing – most often without even realizing it.
Growth can be scary. Reaching a new level of awareness brings with it some uncomfortable feelings. We can no longer predict what may come next, and so we resist the unknown. Who knows what’s on the other side of our fear. If we resist finding out, we can feel safer in the world we’ve become so accustomed to.
I’ve witnessed this behavior in myself over these last couple of years, yet never really did anything about it. I accepted that at times, I held myself back. I allowed my resistance and fear to win, all while knowing exactly what I needed in order to feel better. I’ve even blamed the Spirit world for keeping me stuck, and holding me back from calling up my teacher, or meditating. All the while it’s just been me and my fear, telling me old stories.
Lately, this trait has become hard to ignore, and that tells me it is finally time to really look at what is going on, and make a change. In my life, I am usually hit with a two-by-four before I create the change that has been screaming out to me for so long. But this time, I am making a commitment to myself to begin the work before that happens.
Here is what I will be doing to break free from this old pattern of mine, and finally see more of what lies on the other side of my fear.
Create structure around what you would like to accomplish – even if it is “spiritual”!
I am currently taking my mentor, Ava Johanna’s course “Be Your Own Mentor”, and this week was all about breaking through resistance (super fitting I know). While listening to her speak, a huge lightbulb went off.
I’ve been trying to create new practices such as meditating each day, or blogging every week, but I never took the time to make them a concrete part of my life. I can do this by adding each into my daily calendar – the one I already start each morning looking at.
Ava spoke about structuring these parts of your life at first, even if they are meant to be “spiritual” practices. So often we will make plans to do something, and then time will go by and we haven’t done a thing. By waiting for inspiration to strike, we actually increase the amount of waiting we do.
When resistance shows up, view it as a trigger to do EXACTLY the thing you are resisting doing.
You can even create some fun around this, and make it a game of willpower. Who will win? Are you stronger than your mind? And then celebrate when you do win! Do the thing you didn’t want to do and THEN do what your resistance had told you instead (lay on the bed, check your phone, watch a favorite Netflix series). You can have both!
Ask yourself what will happen if you do what you are resisting.
Will something bad realistically happen? Or will you be out of your comfort zone for a little while and then feel great afterwards?
A personal example of this is going to the gym. I don’t like a lot of attention, and when I go to the gym, people stare. It’s just a thing, and I find myself doing the same to others as well. Our eyes wander and we look around, or watch people walk just because we need something else to focus on while we’re on the treadmill or pausing for a break.
This makes me SO uneasy, especially when I am just coming back after time off and have most likely put on some fluff. I’ll convince myself it’s better to stay at home and not be uncomfortable even though I know that once I begin my workouts I feel great and I leave feeling on top of the world.
So, in other words pay attention to the end result, not the in-between!
Make a list of what you are resisting.
By understanding what you resist, you can understand your fears. Resistance is actually just a form of fear (thank you Ava for this mind-blowing realization). When we can become self-aware and acknowledge our fears, we are one step closer to breaking through them.
Remember that fear is only there to keep us feeling safe and comfortable. In order to reach our greatest desires, we must step out of our comfort zones and do what others may not (even our past selves)!
Those people that have the most success in their lives often feel fear just as strong as everyone else. The difference is that they continue on anyways.